Fathers Teach Your Children How To Survive

[William Jackson]

By William and Sean Jackson
“It is a wise father that knows his own child”
Shakespeare
Our young men are being taken away at an alarming rate, either being killed or incarcerated. The recent Real Talk.. Real Change, Black Male Symposium and Boys2Men Symposium address similar issues. We see more shootings that are claiming the lives of those who should have a promising future ahead of them and young black males not being responsible. Young men such as these fell at the hands of those who have sworn to protect and serve, young men such as Sean Bell, Omar Edwards and DeAuntae Farrow; they did not know who their killers were by name, but were unable to prevent the events of their demise. Tragic events show that fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers and even men in ministry/clergy, those that are mentors to young men are hard pressed to teach our young black men survival skills to keep them from being targets and victims. Even President Barack Obama has challenged black fathers to step up and take on their responsibility in the lives of their children. He sets a model for other fathers even with the added responsibilities of his Presidential service. In a past Fathers Day speech,”If we are honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that too many fathers are missing – missing from too many lives and too many homes. They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it” (Sen. Barack Obama 2008). This comes from a man who looks like us, has a wife and children who look like us, so no excuses can be given against such true words even in the cases when Bill Cosby and Rev. Jessie Jackson spoke similar words, they were criticized but spoke similar truths.
Constitutional Rights and Religion
The constitutional right of “due process” has in some cases been bypassed from innocent until proven guilty, to guilty judgments and a sentences of executions.
There appears that the constitutional rights of young black males has been violated, subjugated and denigrated to the point of guilty and execution (figuratively). The first part of Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, don't exasperate your children" (NIV). In other words, encourage them in honorable actions, don’t anger them then turn them out to a world where their lives are not taken as important and valuable. In Proverbs 4:4 “Let thine heart retain thy words: keep my commandments and live” (KJV). Who would have thought these words would prove so truthful in the 21st century. In these United States of America our young men’s time lines are slowly diminishing; devaluing to a point of unimportance. Across this country more and more young men are being gunned down by those who look like them. Fathers, our teachings to our sons must go beyond how to ride bike, being respectful to women, the importance of obtaining an education, going to church for praise and worship, we have to teach our children the lessons of life, the lessons of survival, how to stay alive when there are those who do not value them as we should and do.
What if fathers were more Involved
Bertrand Russell states, “The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them” (1963), but how can this be if fathers are not there to teach, guide and be a model? What has changed since we celebrated 100 years of Fathers Day celebrations in 2009, are fathers more committed to their children, have they resigned to the fact that they have responsibilities that require them to man up and be a father to their children? Are there more mentors in our communities, churches and schools? As Reggie Fulwood states, “You could easily argue that if more men are involved in their children’s lives crime would be down and more of our youth-especially young men have more of a sense of direction.” I would take it one step further that if more men did their jobs our young men would not have targets on their backs and tomb stones over them.
Personal Fears
I fear for my son who is 17 years old, I fear that he may die before I do either at the hands of an overzealous service revolver or the hands of someone who looks like him, instead of a connection to possible violence there should be a connection of unity in celebrating brotherhood and culture. Searching for a cure to cancer, diabetes, heart defects, world peace, fighting poverty and hunger, these are the things I must teach him; to look over his shoulder, to be mindful that some officers see him as less than a man, a trouble maker, or possible drug dealer, a future criminal to be, instead of a young man with a bright future just as Sean Bell, Omar Edwards and DeAuntae Farrow and the others we may never know about. I fear I may not see him graduate from high school or college, I fear that because of imposed stereotypes of society he may not reach his destiny, but as his father it is my duty and responsibility to teach him and make sure he does get to where he needs to be in life.
Evidence is Seen
Increasing Father Involvement by Brooke-Weiss, stated that, “Fathers provide emotional, spiritual, and financial involvement as a whole, bringing a stable environment to children allowing them to develop into productive adults and become successful in society in educational experiences.” The evidence is visible in our communities, in our schools, in our churches and on our streets. We put our young men’s lives at risk and others when we as men do not take the time or the opportunity to teach how to conduct them in public, to pull up their pants, to talk respectfully to women, to respect authority and act with intelligence and pride. Intelligence is not just in people with degrees, but those that strive to improve themselves, who are willing and eager to learn lessons of life to survive, thrive and grow; those doing positive things in our communities, schools and churches, if many of our young men act like thugs and gansta’s then many will be treated as such and subjected to actions that prove deadly. Mr. Fullwood makes a valid point in his words, “I admit that being a black man in America or anywhere is hard, but again, that’s no excuse for not being apart of your child’s life.”
Teach the Word
Another important part of Ephesians 6:4 says, "Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (NIV). Fathers teach your sons words that empower them with positive spiritual energies. Model and define a spirit and Word guided life. When they have the Word in them they will follow the Word. Teachers can’t teach it, the government can’t teach it, the media can’t teach it, but fathers can and must teach.
Conclusion
Pastor David Reagan (The Role of a Father), validates a man’s role in the home and in their children’s life with these comments, “It is due to the neglect, irresponsibility and selfishness of a father that the home does not feel his presence”. This lack of fatherly presence infests beyond our homes, but also our communities, schools and our churches. It is past time for more fathers to stand up and make a commitment to their children.